Mid Year Eve

lol feeling damn stressed. Stressed until dun even feel like touching books. but well, still gotta mug. taking a short break from studies so decided to juz blog abit.

woudl say its quite a hectic yet slack holiday. Hectic trying to prepare for Mid year. Slack, well, cause no mood. lol and a very happening one also, cause my mood fluctuated like nobody's business in the last 2 weeks. Exam stress plus sth else. haha "best combination" to make a person moody, and i got both. lol mood alternating between happy, sad, angry, moody, hurt. haha a good way to drive a person crazy also.

I guess i really gotta thank 2 of my friends who are with me when i was really down. i think without the 2 of them, i dunno how i would have been able to cope with all the things bothering me this week. phew felt really lucky to have them around. Really cannot imagine if at that time i wasnt with then but alone at home.

Other than studying hard (tried to) this holiday, i guess it also gave me time to slowly think through some stuff and sort stuff out. Have been too busy with too many stuff that dun have the time to quietly sit down with a clear mind to settle stuff within my head. after sorting out all the stuff, i got this feeling that i dunno if i should be happy about. I felt less bothered; It may show that i have gotten over and accepted it, but it may also show that it matters less to me now as conpared to last time. heh dunno which one also. but well, thats all in "theory". Dunno how i would feel when i really have to face it again. I tried imagining and gladly, i felt better than last time when i imagined it. so i guess things has gone better..... provided is cause i have gotten over it. haha

looking through some of the photos taken with my friends last time. heh noticed all the friends that i have neglected due to my busy-ness, as well as my 执著-ness. haha. i guess is partially is due to my own character. As much as i try to be independant, i will need at least something or someone that i can fully rely on, which is nt really a good thing i noticed recently, cause it might cause overdependance and yep, i realised that its nt so good. haha

its was like this 1hour talk with this "old friend" of my that really cheered me up, once and for all. although there are dips to my mood after the talk , but i guess generally, i was cheered up. haha felt like saying a special thanks to this "old friend" of my. Thanks =)

lol ok shall go back to mug. Argh. all the best to everyone for midyears!

怀念

近日在家，突然回想起以前的那段日子。真的好怀念。许多事，不在我的控制下，陆陆续续的发生。回想起真的好像一场戏一般。以前那幸福的感觉，演变成了现在不能形容的伤感。一切都变了。

也不知为何，这份伤感对自己的影响比想象的要大很多。有时想一想，不知是自己的问题还是这些都是正常的感觉。我想应该是自己的问题吧。

该是清除杂念，收身养性的时候了。心理素质该高一些，不能让心情对自己影响那么大。=）

专心，专注。

First aid duty @ NTU

Went for first aid duty ytd and sat. haha all i can say is that i really learnt alot from the 2 days. was covering FA for a Silat compatition, with ajc and republic poly redcross members. (haha long time nv attend RC activities liao) :P there was a doctor there also, Dr Saiful. The person whom i really learnt alot from.

This is like my first time watching a silat competition. Was like so wow-ed by their skills and how tough some of them are. Looking at the injuries for the 2 days, its really a very high risk activity. Those usually common injuries such as small cuts and minor contusions are no longer seen there cause the so called "common injuries" here are more serious contusions, fractures, laceration etc. Din dare to let my guard down for that 6 hours plus there. Also, because its a competition, our diagnostic and treatment gotta be really quick during the match as everyone is waiting for the player to return to the arena and continue the match.

was watching this match half way then suddenly the referee signalled for us to go in. i approached one of the contestants and saw her having a rather deep cut on her lips, most likely got cut by the teeth during the fight. gave her some gauze to stop her bleeding. was so nervous during the treatment cause i can really feel that everything came to a standstill, be it the other contestant, the referees or the supporters, as everyone is waiting for our diagnostic on whether is she able to continue the match. One of the officials came and ask me "so can she continue the match? cause you have only got one minute you see.." lol never felt so pressurised when treating casualty. In the past had all the time to slowly treat. haha. so in the end juz managed to stop the bleeding and she rushed back into the arena. really pei fu their toughness. such a deep cut on the lips must be really painful but can really see her determination in wanting to continue and finish the match.

had another case of thumb fracture later on in the day. Dr Saiful was the one attending to him. I was squatting beside, trying to learn what he is doing. Dr Saiful was examining the thumb then he said that it is a fracture. I was quite surprised then cause did not expect it to be a fracture initially looking at the condition of the thumb. I would have diagnosed it as a serious sprain if just by the looks of it. Then Dr Saiful asked if i want to feel the thumb. lol. Feel sorry for the casualty cause i know a close fracture like that would be really painful, but on the other hand i really din wanna miss this learning opportunity. Hence upon agreement of the casualty, i went to feel his thumb. Had this first experience on my life of feeling a fracture. Really can feel the bones grinding against each other. A very prominent sign of fracture. Din dare to try too much cause its really painful, hence me and Dr Saiful went on the immobilise his thumb with 2 splints and arranged him to go to the hospital.

There are alot of cases here and there that happened during the 2 days but these are the few that left me with the deepest impression. heh. had great talks with Dr Saiful and gained alot of information from his experience as well as professional opinions about some treatment and first aid situations. So much that i cant help but need to jot down in my note book for future references.

This 2 days' experience is really so different from those first aid duties i have been involved in for the past 5 years. Knew alot of nice friends during the duty also. Really hope i can have a chance to work with them again :D

Matri day 5

haha the day started alittle messy. i guess cause is the first day we doing full day of games and there were only councillors. But i overall it went well =) after that stayed back to tie alliance flag and prepare for orientation. then went to kfc for dinner. haha dozed off after eating :P lol went home instant KO haha.

hmm ytd's mood seemed abit "unstable" haiz guess is tired bah, get agitated quite easily. Nearly threw a tendrum. throughout the day thought of many stuff. many questions for myself, no answer for anyone of them yet. am i really up to it?

heh but well, orientation is coming, jia you 25th!

许多时候我们并不会应为“有”而高兴，反而因为“没有”而感到不高兴。是不是应该知足，为现有的感到满足，而不为得不到的感到不高兴，甚至妒嫉他人呢？命里有时终需有，命里无时末强求。

LOL juz felt like posting sth. haha very short one.

new year was quite quite simple actually. haha juz went out to have meals with family and so some places walkwalk. So far received 3 ang baos. One from mother, one from father, one from grandpa. haha but was was happy though, cause managed to spend time with family =) haha

2dae around noon went airport 接 someone 机. haha then after that went out with friends. lol was fun =) isnt really much about the activities we did but is about the time spent with them =) haha enjoyable :D Thanks people for making my last day of CNY holiday so nice.

I guess everyone will be busy from tmr onwards till orientation. haha jia you ppl.

For the past 2 weeks have been reaching home after 9plus even 10plus. haha living a really "regular" life last week. Wake up, go school, council work, home, dinner, sleep. haha guess is after 2 weeks of this kinda life that tired me out mentally bah, the frequency whereby i stare into blank space and stone have increased :p but well, i guess there are quite alot of ppl as busy during this period of time. see games comm staying back everyday until chao late to do up games proposal....sze wei and joyce almost meeting up everyday to settle family day stuff...etc. haha jia you ppl!

haha today in the morning wake up, someone asked me to go read a person's blog. lol what a way to start the day. haha really no comments. shall not express here also if nt one hole page also not enough :p Today went to IMM to have breakfast, then back home to do Orientation stuff till now. Juz taking a short break so blogged :P

paiseh so late then upload this photo :p haha

haha after a longlonglong time, finally got the time to post :P haha. actually is taking a break from the hw...lol



went for syc and bncoc this holiday. shall talk about BNCOC first. camp was fun =) haha knew some new friends. Felt glad to see Alpha improve throughout the camp. well done alpha. Passing out parade last sat was enjoyable too. haha my first time marching with glove and drill cane :P:P But of course whats most impt is seeing alpha pass out as NCOs =)

Haha taken after the parade =) Thx weiye sir for the nice angle=)

SYC was fun too =) haha knew alot of new friends. Miss exhibition comm! :D Miss the vietnam ppl also. Dunno whens the next time we will meet again =(

haha now getting back to council and sch work =) Orientation, Cip and elections. haha whole calendar is full of proposal deadlines now. lol

ok..gotta stop here, gotta go back to work :D